It’s Not About Time

A Reflection on the Stories We Tell Ourselves About Not Having “Enough” of It

Earlier this week, while promoting our next round of Coachee/Mentee recruitment (opens on 10 November 2025), someone made a comment that really stuck with me:

“Coaching really does shine a light on the value of time, doesn’t it, Karen?”

And it really does.

It got me thinking about how often this comes up in coaching conversations.

I’d confidently say that time is probably the number one barrier we all experience when we find ourselves wondering why we haven’t quite got round to doing that thing we keep thinking about, talking about, or quietly resenting because it’s still not done.

We’ve all been there.

And in case any of you are struggling with this right now, I thought it might be useful to share a personal experience on the subject. I find it a useful reminder (when I need it) that sometimes it’s how we think about time that’s the real issue, not time itself.

How much time do you really need?

I was deep in procrastination when a great friend of mine — who also happens to be a wonderful coach — gifted me this question.

I was trying (and failing) to finish my MA dissertation. I’d been given extensions, the deadlines had come and gone, and I was running out of excuses.

We were catching up over lunch, talking about all sorts, when the conversation turned to my studies. I saw her notice my hesitation, watch me fidget, and as her knowing smile emerged, I knew what was coming. Never one to skirt around these things, this is the conversation that followed...

Her: “What’s holding you back?”

Me: “I just need to get through the next six months and clear the decks. By February, I’ll have a clear diary and can finally focus on it properly.”

Her: “And how likely is it that when February comes, your diary will actually be clear enough to focus exclusively on it?”

Me: “...Probably not very likely.”

Her: “So, how much time do you think you need?”

Me: “If I can just get my reading done so I can tackle the literature review, I’ll be fine.”

Her: “Okay — what reading do you need to do?”

Me: “Maybe 10 to 15 articles.”

Her: “And how long does it take you to read one?”

Me: “About 15–20 minutes.”

Her: “So do you have 15–20 minutes a day to read one article?”

Me: “...Yes.”

Her: “So in a fortnight, you’ll have read 14 articles. Would that be enough?”

Me: “...Yes. (Damn it, it would.)”

That short conversation — maybe ten minutes at most — completely shifted how I thought about time. It’s been over 13 years now, but I can still remember how it felt.

In the space of a few questions, she’d helped me see that time wasn’t the problem — my thinking was. I’d been stuck for almost two years, waiting for the perfect circumstances to arrive, and they were never going to come.

That one conversation was the springboard I needed. It moved me from feeling stuck and inadequate into action. It gave me an anchor for my own internal dialogue, something that took away my excuses, eased the overwhelm, and made the whole thing feel doable... even if not easy.

When I finally finished my dissertation and stepped out of York Minster after my graduation ceremony, there she was — waiting to surprise me and celebrate my day.

Sometimes we need a friend, or a coach (and if we’re lucky, they’re both), to unstick us. Someone who is prepared to ask those awkward questions, who shows up and cares enough not to let us fall short of what we’re capable of, and who holds faith in us when we haven't yet embraced it in ourselves.

The Lesson

That moment taught me something I’ve never forgotten, something I still come back to, both in my own life and when I’m coaching others:

We don’t need more time.

We need to use the time we already have with clearer intention.

So next time you catch yourself saying, “I just don’t have time,” try asking:

“How much time do I really need?”

“What small step could I take today?”

“And if I invested a similar amount of time every day, what might change in two weeks, a month or in a year?”

Because ten minutes a day, used well, can change everything.

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Inspired by a wise friend, a looming dissertation deadline, and a simple comment on LinkedIn that got me thinking about time and coaching — a gentle reminder that some of the most meaningful coaching conversations happen in the everyday moments, sometimes over lunch, and often when we least expect them